(one thing, and I hate to ruin my comment this way, but I must tell you that towards the end one of them says "to no prevail" and it should be "to no avail")
Cute story and the dialouge is a nice change. Very creative idea. The only problem with having so much dialogue is that your characters are kind of flat and the reading seemed hollow. But since it's such a easliy understandable idea people are familiar with the situation.
Oh it was way cute in a sad way. And I liked it. I could totally follow what was going on, but that's probably because I really just like reading dialouge. Ha I'm a total nerd. So yea. FIRST COMMENT WOOT!! =) ♥ +jazzi