Well this story was certainly intriguing but may have needed you to build on the idea further. I didn't seem to find any tension that held the suspense for the reader, nor a complication. I did enjoy your writing style and will most likely continue to read any further works of yours. Well done for creating this from the lyrics I gave you. Once again I am compelled to say you could have built on this further, made the departure of the stranger much more dramatic, heart-wrenching even. Interesting ending but I believe you could improve the way you added in evil laughter.
Brilliant story, good luck in the contest and thank you for entering.
Well this story was certainly intriguing but may have needed you to build on the idea further. I didn't seem to find any tension that held the suspense for the reader, nor a complication. I did enjoy your writing style and will most likely continue to read any further works of yours. Well done for creating this from the lyrics I gave you. Once again I am compelled to say you could have built on this further, made the departure of the stranger much more dramatic, heart-wrenching even. Interesting ending but I believe you could improve the way you added in evil laughter.
Brilliant story, good luck in the contest and thank you for entering.
Lurking_shadow