Almost Lover. - Comments

onesie for onesie.
man. i love this a lot. i love the fact that its a really lovely representation of one of my favourite songs.
i love the fact that its also obviously very dear to you and perhaps draws lines to your own life. for which i'm sorry. but shit happens so you can write really excellent pieces about them.
really well done vee.
the only con-crit i will give, is that sometimes your choice of wording lacks flow. but its still good.
( at me talking like i know anything about writing.)

One Shot For One Shot.

I really enjoyed how there was no dialouge in this and it was all thoughts, and almost sounded like a letter. The description was wonderful as was the imagery, and you could just feel all of the emotion seeping from each sentence. That was absolutely wonderful. I like how it went with the song, that was brilliant. Your freckles and my scars would form sentences of a language only us could understand, and as time goes on novels will be filled to remind us of just how much we mean to each other. That had to be my favorite line in all of this. Your metaphors were beautiful, and I like how you brought this story to life. Good job.

First off, amazing job on this story, it's very easy to picture what's happening and it's beautifully detailed.
The description is amazing to begin with, and the line, "I think back to your arms around me on the coldest days, and I feel a fire with a flame so crimson alight within my body which burns out the icicles," helps the reader dive into the story and really begin to comprehend what's happening.

The happiness of the relationship and the depression of the break up can really hit home for some of the readers, especially with the line, "the one thing that made everything worthwhile was just another lie in my life and my whole world shattered apart." It lets the reader, even if they've never experienced heartbreak themselves, understand how broken it can make one feel.

The final two paragraphs and ending line let the reader further delve into the angst and you can understand why the girl would be so upset with the boy, he comes off as a complete and utter idiot and jerk for breaking up with her, but the reader is giving some solace because of the last line as it stort of symbolises how the girl is letting go in saying goodbye.

Overall, it was an amazing read and written brilliantly, especially with a subject such as heartbreak.

That was just...so beautiful. The emotions were so clear but so masked at the same time and the metaphors you used were stunning. It's amazing, amazing writing, and I don't know if it's written from personal experience but you captured every feeling so well. I felt so sorry for the girl. It was gorgeous.

That dude seems like a jerk and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Wow.

This was really... dark. It was beautiful and wonderful and dark and honest. It was... real. I felt everything the speaker mentioned feeling; I felt I could identify better than if I had recently been through a similar situation. It's just so amazing, &how you've managed to work all of that into words is just... incredible.

I love this.

One Shot For One Shot:

I just want to say that I adore this song. It makes me quite sad when I listen to it, so I'm extremely excited to read about where you take this.

I thought that it really was an amazing piece of work. The narration was so brillant, you really have a knack with wording and an understanding of combining both description and emotion in a beautiful way.

I really did love reading this. It tugged on my heart in a way I never thought a short little drabble could. Amazing.

Oh Vee bb.
This was so raw and powerful. I can tell it took courage to write/post this.

It's not bull at all lovie, it's absolutely beautiful.
I love it sfm. and as i fail at reviews etc have lots of <3's

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Ooh! I love stories like these. I'd like to see where it goes.