20 Years Later... - Comments

Oh my god. I love this story. <3

I really like this...and I actually teared up a little bit. </3

I love this story oh-so-fucking-much :]
I'm surprised you don't have more comments...
:]

First off, I like the idea of the story. It's original and definitely something new. I feel the characters are believeable. I like how you portray Bandit's sadness and her reaction to her parent's death. Unlike alot of stories, a character going through the loss of someone close are usually depicted as having no emotions and that's annoying. So it's good you didn't follow along with that.

There are some mistakes where you used to, where it should have been too and y'know, the usual mistakes of using there, their, and they're. Also a few run-on sentences that confused me as to what the character was doing.

An example is:
It wasn’t a open casket funeral, they were to banged up for anyone to see.

It wasn’t an open casket funeral; they were too banged up for anyone to see.

I think that is one of the few minor mistakes in the story. Other than that, I see no problem.
Keep up the good work. :D

Nice Idea. :P

Awesome story idea! It's one of those stories that has that good balance of happy and sad, you know? And i LOVE that it has Frankie and his son in it! I'm a bit Frankie obsessed. :-)

I really like your story. and YES!! I stole your Comment Virginity. Idk about the comment rape?