Gonna Make You Lose Control - Comments

Comment swap:
The first thing I noticed was the layout. I find the color of the text to be distracting and a bit hard to read against the dark background. You're better of sticking with a layout with a text that is much less vibrant in color and less distracting as well.

I do like the storyline though, I definitely identify with the main character a lot, haha. Definitely not the partying type like at all. I'd much rather stay at home in my pjs and binge watch stuff on Netflix any day.

I did notice a few grammar mistakes here and there. Sometimes a set of quotation marks didn't belong where you put them, and there were also some misplaced commas. Other than that, I think this is a good story. Keep up the good work!

Comment Swap~

I love the story line, but there are a few things I would like to point out. An attractive layout will definitely bring in more reader, trust me. And allso, I would recommend looking into your grammar. There are a few mistakes here and there with the "your"'s that you're using. If you would like help with that, just let me know. If there's one thing I'm good at with writing it is definitely grammar. There might have been a few misplaced commas, but other than that I really liked this and you should think about making it into a full length story. Maybe spice it up a bit and have Chris and Bryaiana meet or go on that blind date.

All in all, this was a terrific idea for a story. i just think it should be stretched out a bit more to make a full length story.

Comment swap~

Okay, if there is one thing I always stress to a writer, it's the layout. Without a layout, a lot of people won't read your story. It'll turn away readers, because a layout is what usually draws them in. But otherwise, I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes. Good job.

I don't know much about the band that this is about but I really enjoyed this anyway. I think it's a really good story and I liked the plot, idea, everything. The second chapter wasn't as lovable as the first. I agree with Sierra Kusterbeck that it was disappointing. But I get the idea of it and still did really like reading this.

>.> I pressed "submit" too soon.

Confusion aside, I really liked this- you did a good job.

Chapter one- I really liked this a lot. I don't know much about the band, but it didn't really cause me a problem. There's a lot of stories where if you don't know anything about the band or band member, you're left completely in the dark, but this wasn't one of them.

Chapter two- This chapter really confused me at first- I had to reread it. I was kind of disappointed with the "it was a dream" ending, to be honest. It doesn't really feel like the story should be over at the point that you ended it.

XD <3 it.

i think this would make a good story if you stretch it out. its got a good idea going for it lol. this was good by the way.

I love it.! :D
Hope you update!

Sara_Gates

I love this! ;]

Loved how you ended that
:)
really enjoyed it
x

I LOVED THE ENDING OF THAT CHAPTER!!!! I CAN JUST IMAGINE HIM SAYING THAT!!!! *DROOLS* ha ha XD