December 28th, 2009 at 05:47am
First thing I should mention is I really do like the layout. The layout is simple but it does work nicely with the subject of the story. But one thing I’m not too fond of is the right aligned text, it made it just a bit hard to read.
I like the way you started out this story, it was a really nice way to pull in the reader to the story. I liked the way you described that also, it gave the reader a chance to get into Ryan’s head and see what was going on with him. I liked the feel of the whole story, so many emotions were captured in that story and they all seemed very real. They were all so very well written. You did very well on the story.
*sadness*