Only We Can Make It Through Today - Comments

More please =) I really like this story

I really like this. :D

I love this story..write more please?

Wow this is really intense!!! I love Metro Station, and Mitchell Musso is my guilty pleasure, so I really like this story xD Nice work, keep 'em comin! :]

I really like it.
A lot
and that's a lot especially because normally I don't read fanfictions
I also noticed a few grammar errors mostly names not being capitalized
but that's it.
I want to see where this is going.
I will be subscribing

This story seemed well thought out and has a rather good plot. The only thing I noticed are some grammer errors and what not, like how some names aren't capitalized.
Other than that, well done (:

I absolutely loved how you rewrote chapter one, it showed a lot of potential. I also agree with a lot of the people before me, about the cutting scene in chapter three. A lot of people don't do flashbacks very well, but I think you pulled it of nicely. I think you're on to something here :] I'm not going to say much about grammatical errors, because I have those as well, and I guess being Norwegian isn't too good of an excuse. However, the sentence in chapter two:
“Is what you’re doing when your away sex?” I asked him. I had to read that a couple of times before I finally got the idea, but when I think about it, it was a kid saying this and kids often use sentences like that I guess...
- Lina.

I really like the idea for this story, even though I'm not a huge fan of Miley Cyrus.

But I do suggest getting an editor. I got a little lost here and there, because of some minor punctuation or capitalization errors.

I really liked how you described Mason's feelings, too. The cutting scene in chapter 3 was very believable. Good job!

Nice...can't wait for the next update.

I like the characters and plot line of this story, very nice. I really like the "To Be Continued" thing it reminds me of a soap opera or just a regular tv show. I also like how you put the person's POV so we know whose it is.

Pretty nice job, keep on writing.

I think that you have an interesting start to this story. The plot seems to be well thought out and that your writing is pretty decent as well. I spotted a bunch of grammar mistakes and typos though, and this could probably use a read-over of all the chapters on your part to iron those out.

Pretty good job on this so far =)

I quite like your story. It's interesting. :)

I will read the rest, too.

Erm, I found a few mistakes here and there, and I'm not a pro at this myself, but I still notice some spelling/grammar mistakes. May I suggest some corrections? Hope you don't mind. :)

When things('were') finally starting to settle down(I think a comma should go here because the sentence seems too long otherwise) mason began going to parties and clubs and spending less and less time at home.

I was only ten when mason was coming home in the mornings with other bruises and sometimes ('cuts').

“You know, your whore of a brother (I think you probably meant 'will') have sex with anyone that will get on their back. Or he will get on his back…” the kid walked off with a smirk.

I ('didn't') know if it was true(comma please) so when mason was home one night eating his dinner alone in the dining room(comma) for what ever reason, I asked him, (You didn't need to start a new paragraph here) “Is what you’re doing when your away sex?” I asked him.

He put down his fork and left for his room. No matter what I understood about sex, I knew that it ('wasn't) something that mason was very happy about, so why was he doing it so often?

Other than that, I thought it was a good start! :D

So well done.

WOW u are an amazing writer when it comes to this!!! Thanks again for the help with minez I'm gonna try and take it slow....PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!

I love how badass they are. Hahah.

Anyway, this is pretty good, and so is the plot.
Keep it up! :]

OMG YES Now I finally know
I feel bad for Mitchel he's confused and worried
I wonder what happen downstairs with their parnets and whats under the one lose floor board

Oh no rehab for Mason?!?! NOOOOOOOO
poor Mitch :(
Great even if it was short you still make thing awesome for readers
I love you

love this,
it is so different.
i remember when you first started writing on here :)
you have come a long way dear, keep it up.
xo

That was great!
Sorry I've been absent from Mibba.
I just took my exams and I've been swamped.
But they're over and I'm back!

Love it Macy
and I don't feeel like guessing about why he cuts soo I'll figure it out later down the raod :)
amazing chapter and story more soon?
i lovers you girly
Clara

This is in response to your journal entry.

Feedback on the cutting scene:

I like that this is a flashback. However, I think that you could introduce it as such more subtly and effectively than simply by saying 'start flashback' and 'end flashback'. When you write a flashback, you have the potential to open a window into your character's mind. Accordingly, to frame the scene obtusely is to make waste of such an opportunity. If I were writing this, I would talk briefly about what prompted the character to have the flashback, introduce it with some italics or a page break, and then end with a conclusion about how it left them feeling, tying it in with the rest of the story.

The flashback itself is well-written and has a nice flow. I particular like the crossing out of 'moan' and the 'Drip... Drip... Drip...', as this adds considerable texture to the story without being overly verbose. However, I would also have really loved to know what was going through your character's mind when he was doing this. You have made allusions to his emotional state, and that's a great start, but I'm sure there was some inner monologue going on that, if you could bring it out, would make this scene truly amazing.

I would also for this bit to be slightly longer, as I figure, when you're onto something good, you really want to share it with the audience in its entirety. But that's just my personal opinion.

Kudos again on your texture and imagery!

-Aelf.