Darling I'm a Hurricane - Comments

title...
um the best title ever, SPARKS THE RESCUE(:
oh and i love your writing(:

this is really really good!
i can't wait for the next update, this story has a lot of potential :)! x

Hey whatever happened to this story? I love this story.

This is ridiculously overdue and I am so so so sorry.

So lets start. It makes me smile that most of the girls who work in Heaven and Hell really don't enjoy it. At all. It's a chore for them and you can tell they are bored with the same underage kids at gigs who try desperately trying to get a drink. It shows that Adele is slightly cynical and fed up of this monotone life. I like the way that she asses the girl who attempts to buy a vodka and coke and takes in so much about her appearance. Which is one of your great writing strengths by the way, describing people but not going over board with it. You give us just enough to create a character for that person without having to actually be introduced to them. Very nice.

Although Krystal is probably meant to be the constant source of irritation I find her quite amusing. She is so out of place and yet fits in perfectly.

Hahaha thank you for my little cameo. It's odd writing about yourself in the third person tehe. I like the idea of the cardigan being the color of 'danger', it's a nice way to preempt what is going to happen halfway through the set. Also the whole ID thing made me laugh because I actually get IDed wherever I got :D and plus I only ever tend to drink wine

Again I love your descriptions, I really feel like I'm at the big and the claustrophobia is kicking it. The idea of the skinny girls all fainting makes me chuckle. Oh the power of our lovely YMAS boys. Love it.

Seriously I love Krystal. She's so annoying and yet no one really takes her seriously or cares. i hope she gets to play a bigger part because I'd be really curious to see what you do with her character because she is just very different from all the other characters that you have going so far. Good job. You've brought in several characters and yet they are all distinctive and I'm not struggling to remember who is who.

I like the connection that the girls, despite all their apparent differences, share. They've all had to trawl after their boys in bands. So you've raised something from Adele's past which is really interesting. I WANT TO KNOW MOOOAR! Haha. She's clearly familiar with the workings of the stage and the equipment, and she criticizes Josh's singing (you go girl huh), so it'll be interesting to see where that all comes from. It's interesting to see that she doesn't open up straight away and keep the wall up. It's not so obvious why she does it though, disappointed in her former boyfriend? Parent issues? I dunno and I like it like that huh. She's about to tell though and then GODDAMNIT a power cut. Nicely done, tease us with a cliff hanger why don't you? :P

Aww poor Max and my calling him a drama queen. It's so something I would say though :tehe:

So ooh drinking in the dark with a load offend boys. Because that's not going to cause drama hahaha. I sense a game of 'I have never'. jokes. I like the whole symbolism of being in the dark, it's reflective of their situation because none of them really know each other and anything could happen right now.

Eeeeek still deathly excited for this. I hope you find your inspiration/motivation because I'm sensing this is going to be one heck of a story, but take your time and don't feel like you need to rush anything. Everything takes it's time.

I know you said you weren't going to update for a bit, but I feel like it's been years! Update soon?

looking gooood ;)
when is she gonna have sexy time with Josh?
i joke, i joke ;D
update sooon?

so good so good so good

The layout picture is captivating. I cannot stop staring at it.
(Yey update!)

Oh, Nina. :)

Loved the update, can't wait for more even if it'll be awhile!

So I owe you a ridiculous amount of feedback that I've been meaning to do for ages. I've re-read the chapters over and over but never got my are into gear to write you anything so here we go!

A burden I can't bear
What I love so much about this story already (apart from the obvious that you're writing it and that it's got Josh in it teehee), is the whole idea of it being from the perspective of behind the bar. It's so interesting to see the girls working their horrible night shifts sober and seeing how everyone else is acting. That's how the girls end up seeing a very negative snapshot of the world and can explain the slightly cynical edge to Adele. If you're only ever around drunk people then it makes life very depressing.

I love the name of the club, and it's a clever idea because the place can literally be a hell for those working there and a heaven for those who want to get lost in the drinks and the loud music.

You've got a very accurate portrayal of the night scene and it really this home to me, probably because of freshers week It's as if the whorl in the club is a whole world for itself and what is happening outside is irrelevant.

I like the characters that you've introduced. They aren't stereotypical and I like the dynamics between Krystal and Adele. They are clearly independent and likable girls, which is a nice contrast to Flick. I appreciate the fact that you've not written her as the complete bitch, but it's obvious that we aren't meant to like her. Through her actions you're further establishing that character of Adele which is clever. You can sense that she's intelligent and sharp because she can clearly see straight through her sister and the intentions of the proposal.

You've already begun to set up some situations and its going to be interesting to see where you take them. I like the whole idea of the sisters being so different and opposite. It's very realistic and will make for interesting reading.

I love how you describe the scenario outside the club, everything has a slightly seedy edge to it which is reflected through the world that the girls have seen during the evening, and it makes me smile because i recognize it very easily.

It's interesting that you raise something else in Adele: her love for music. It's not majorly apparent but it's clear that there's something other than her monotonous routine she's living for. It'll be interesting to see you pick up on that because she clearly has bigger dreams than working behind the bar all her life.

Ignorance is your new best friend

I have to say I love the friendship dynamic. You've managed to create two girls that whilst appearing to be normal are also very different from each other. Krystal is the more bubbly and overt one out of the two and it's funny to see her calling dibs on the boys. Adele seems to know her friend very well because she takes it lying down and lets her do her thing.

I'm curious as to Adele's backstory. Maybe she's had a bad experience with boys in bands because she says 'band boys are bad news.' Or maybe she's just smart enough to know exactly what their agenda is.

I genuinely like the character of Adele, she has a slightly more cynical view of the world, you can see that by the way she views the bar she works in and the items in it, i.e. the pole where silly drunk girls and women attempt to show off. It's going to be interesting to see her reaction to the band once they start singing etc.

It's great to see that there's other things out in the world which she wants to do, and you can tell that she's really into instruments and everything. When she gets interrupted by Matt she's defensive at first but then loosens up. It's clear that music plays an important part in her life, but we're not yet sure exactly how great this influence is.

Can I also just say how much I love Dean? He's constantly in the background with his silly sarcastic comments but he adds a lightness to it all, and he seems to know Adele really well and it's great to see their interaction. He amuses me and I think it's great how he teases her about all the sexy boys around her haha.

So I'm seriously excited about this and curious as to where it's all going. Double apologies for the lateness of this and everything else.

Josh Franceschi, auto-subcribe for me.
Excited for more.

i guess the quiet one is Josh?
aww (L)
more!

Love it, the rest will be well worth the wait. :)

update! lets get josh in here

MMMM.
Josh fic! :D
more?

OH MY GOD
I smiled when I saw the title, and even more when I saw the boy. :) :) :)

Yeah.
I love this already :D
x

This is really good :D
I really like your writing style.
:D