Pretty as a Peacock - Comments

Okay; first off; this story reminded me so much of my ex-boyfriend. Really it did. It reminded me so much of how I met him even though it was in a movie theater. I liked how you started it with this:

Oh, he knew how to strut alright.

He would swagger around campus, his skinny jeans hanging loosely on his hips. He would toss his hair our of his eyes and shoot a wink at a girl across the room, then watch her swoon.

I liked this. It's sweet and straight forward. I like it when I have just enough information about the setting/surroundings to have a clear mental picture as I read. I got that here.

One Shot For One Shot:

I know it's a little unrelated but I absoultly adored the layout you made - just gorgous.
But about your story - the idea was pretty cute but I wasn't really sure about the way it played out. I actually like a simplistic writing style but I thought this was a little bland. Some things that bothered me were the random break from the story to describe the seating arangement (I understand why you did it but it really wasn't that important to add) and the lack of description (I don't tend to go for really flowery pieces but a little description is nice). All in all, I thought it started out sweet and simple, but then lingered a bit.
I hope you wanted a little con/crit.

It was adorable !
:)

I love this! So cute :)