Its you and you're dying, I'm sorry - Comments

**squeak** ahhhhhhhh! poor Ge-wa-wa. i can feel his pain.
**sniffles** T__T

well... it's a good start

but it could use some work
try re-doing the grammar and slow it down a little

you've got an original plot line and good dialogue, so cheers there

i'll be looking forward to more soon!!