Starving for Control - Comments

You're so descriptive and I love it! You blew my mind with this one. Anorexia is a serious problem but one thing that bothered me was the unrealistic ending. Your story said she only had two weeks to live and then a year later she's alive and recovered? It's a bit confusing. It would have had more of an impact if you had taken it to a funeral scene or something but other than that, I though it was amazing. You have a way of describing things where I actually feel I'm in your story and I can actually see what's going on. I love it!

hey hey

i just wanted to say -- i found this a very beautiful slice of insight
the themes of the story were very mature (by which i mean deep and wise, not just ~adult) -- all of that insanity & female perfectionism/idealism stuff was very real.

Perfect little girls like her weren't supposed to bleed, they were made from scrubbed pink insides where nothing touched them, nothing at all.

i love love loved this, because it reminds me of a male perception of how girls are meant to be - pristine, enchanting. it's so easy to see how she could believe all that.

will be looking out for your stuff in future.

I agree with Goaty, the ending was a little vague. Another paragraph would have cleared it up though.
Bulimia is something normally pushed to the side for anorexia, no-one really seems to know what it is, I think you covered it fairly well and the bone counting ritual was just what the one-shot needed, it gave it a link which otherwise would have been missing.

Overall, it seemed a little disjointed, but I enjoyed it. Well done.

Ooohh I really liked this! It was wonderfully written and I liked how you didn't make it seem like those other bulimia stories out there, this was fresh and original.
xo

Oh, also I'd like for their to be a link to the contest in the story and a word count. I think that was in the rules. :)

Good job! It was very interesting, and really discriptive. I liked the whole 'bone-counting' thing, and the way such a sick ritual calmed her down. I think it really spoke to how sick she was.

I think it was a very smart, well thought through peek into something very, very terrible. You obviously took time to really put some care into the way you explained things, because this is a delicate subject.

I liked how you described the crash scene, and I also liked the piece-y way the story was told. The ending was sort of confusing though, I think maybe another paragraph is needed in there to show her transition from death to healing.

Other than that, you did a really great job and I'm very proud of you. Thanks for entering the contest!