Right Here's Where the Party Starts! - Comments

cass's middle name is blake

cass's middle name is blake

About the Notepad issues, does your computer have Word pad? That's what I use to type up all my stories and I typically don't have that issue.

The enter button is your friend. I, and the majority of humanity, don't like having to strain my eyes to read conversations typed like this:
"Oh my god!" She squealed. I sighed, and asked, "What now?" "It's Jack Barakat!" She exclaimed, turning to me. I winced and clapped an hand to my ear, "Yay. You just destroyed my hearing for life." "But it's Jack Barakat!" She wailed. I rolled my eyes, "Whoop. He's a human being, like you and me."

WHOOP-WHOOP! Back for a fourth comment! Oh, how you must love me right now!

Puncuation saves your grandpa from being eaten. (Sorry, but there must be a half a million sets on P-vore with that quote.) Periods go inside the little thingies which name I have forgotten (These things: " "! Yeah, those!) if it's the end of someone speaking, like "and Jack." Okey-dokey!

I like the story, still slightly on the confused-ed side, but figuring things out as I go!

I'm probably getting on your nerves right about...Now.

Uhm, I've always been taught that a goodly chunk of talking should be written more like this:
"Oh," she said, "I'm sorry. I apologize if I was rude."
I laughed, "It's no problem!"
"So are you going to the concert on Saturday night?" I asked less than a heartbeat later and she shook her head, looking slightly upset, "No. I'm grounded." She added, as a form of explanation.
And less like this: "Oh," she said, "I'm sorry. I apologize if I was rude." I laughed, "It's no problem!"
While I write a few conversations like the second example, I mainly use the first example. It's kinda less confusing and doesn't have situations where it looks like this: "Oh. I'm sorry. I apologize if I was rude." "It's no problem!" "So are you going to the concert on Saturday night?" "No. I'm grounded."
That was slightly confusing, wasn't it? No indications of who was talking and all those wonderful things.

Also, you don't really need THREE exclaimation points when you're happy. One, with good description or good choice of words, gets the point across.

Ok? Ok.

Also, capitals should be at the beginning of a sentence! I'm not quite sure about things like "Oh, sorry." She said. I typically use commas instead of periods when I do that, so for me it's typically not capitalized, but you're using periods so I'm not extremely sure.
Once again, sorry if I seem mean, but...This is writing, you attempt to write an essay sans capitals, it won't fly. Same with any well-written story. Just won't work without capitalization.

Hi. Is SurviveThisWorld from Polyvore.
Uhm, one rather easy to fix problem I have so far is capitals. If it's like 'I'm so sick' the I should be capitalized. Same with names of a person, place, thing, etc. etc.
Sorry if I seem rude, but proper grammar is somewhat of a 'must' with me.

these stories should have "like" buttons.

and yay for favorite people :P

updates updates? :)

uhhhh...i think that addi is gonna spend a lot of the summer with hot guys from bands and alex is gonna get WICKED jealous. :-)

i love the story so far!

updates updates??!! :)

I love how Zack NEVER wears a shirt! XP

LOVE!!!