I really really love the title. It's so atmospheric especially since the Void - in my personal Mythology - is really Hell. Wonderful.
I really do like this...drabble/short story bit here. especially since it is part of one of the very few my Chemical Romance songs.
Sometimes I think your language goes a little bit too simplistic. Which, in itself is not a bad thing. However, since it is obviously drug-related, it does open up the opportunity to go a bit mad with the vocabulary, perhaps even inventing words.
One that strikes me as the male protagonist is that he's vainglorious but if anything, more dependant on her than she is of him and enjoys her desperation too much to let her go. It would be an interesting role reversal to see that happen years from now when she's off the drugs and he sees her in the street to what the relationship is. But I might be over-analysing.
But with the concise story you've written, it really comes off well.
I really do like this...drabble/short story bit here. especially since it is part of one of the very few my Chemical Romance songs.
Sometimes I think your language goes a little bit too simplistic. Which, in itself is not a bad thing. However, since it is obviously drug-related, it does open up the opportunity to go a bit mad with the vocabulary, perhaps even inventing words.
One that strikes me as the male protagonist is that he's vainglorious but if anything, more dependant on her than she is of him and enjoys her desperation too much to let her go. It would be an interesting role reversal to see that happen years from now when she's off the drugs and he sees her in the street to what the relationship is. But I might be over-analysing.
But with the concise story you've written, it really comes off well.