Supposedly - Comments

Awwww! I loved it.

it's so cute =) i love how they write their letters in third (?) person. something like that lol!

Beautiful. I cant wait for more =P

Firstly, I love the layout you've done for this story. It suits it really well so far.

Secondly, your story is beautifully written. The girl's feelings and how she compares the two different people are very intriguing. It's a lovely story, however there are some grammatical errors. You change the tenses quite a lot whilst writing, for example in the first paragraph you change tense from past to present, "I placed (past tense) my hand gently on the table, forcing myself to suppress my sighs. The afternoon heat is possibly the worst type of sunlight because of its orange rays that are piercing to my eyes.(present tense)" You do this a few times in the story, so it might be a good idea to read over it a couple of times or get a friend to read over it for you. The change of tense was at times confusing, but other than that the story was great.

The description during the story was perfect, and had just the right balance.

It's a great story so far, I can't wait for the next two chapters. Best of luck in the contest.