Lucidity - Comments

D: *jaw drop*
That was...amazing.
A perfect balance of emotion, description, and imagry....
You can see everything through their eyes, and feel everything.
I kind of spaced out when I read it and all I could see was the hospital room.
I can see why it made it in now :D
It's really...truthful. That's what makes it so great.
That's all I can think of for now, stalk you again when you update Edenham!
~Icamane

You pulled off second person so well. This is so beautifully sorrowful; I don't know whether to be sad or inspired. I think I'm both, after reading this. You're amazing at conveying emotion.

What I liked about this story is how confronting and emotional and raw it is. It doesn't sugar coat anything at all; the main character is angry - understandably - about her life being pretty much over and that really comes through in the writing.

The use of second person is hard for most to pull off, but here I feel it really works. It makes you feel what the character is going through and makes it much easier to sympathise with her.

I really, really liked how it was very upfront about the whole issue of her having this disease and the sense of helplessness you feel towards the end. You don't know what else is going to happen to her, and whether or not she'll be lucky enough to survive, as the kind of open ending suggests.

It was just.. very emotional, and that's sometimes hard for many writers on here to do well.

I love it, it's really awesome and very well written. And you can genuinely feel for her, because you feel like you are her, if that makes sense =D

I love the perspective you wrote this in; 2nd person writing intrigues me because it's so easy to feel like that character. I also appreciated your imagery, especially the contrasting image of the young healthy woman "you" wanted to be. Your diction was excellent for the subject matter, all of the dark adjectives you used were perfectly selected to construct an awesome story. =]

Wow. You make such a harsh, sensitive subject seem... Beautiful, almost.
It's the way you write, I think.