Just One Kiss - Comments

Exciting, left a bit of mystery, kept me wanting more. (Ha, Running From Lions.)

Anywho, I really did enjoy it. The characters were well written (if people didn't know who Alex or Jack was) and I liked the concept you made of Alex joining the band and his secret kisser-man being the guitarist. It was creative. :)

Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!

LOVE IT!
Update? XD

AAAWWWWWWWWWW ^_^

how cuteee!! I love Jalex XDXD

Aww, I found that sweet
I like the hanging on-ness that you had, if that's even a word. You didn't jump right in and name him, and then how Jack teased Alez at the end was brilliant!
Banner should be along by the end of this week. Hope that's okay.

I love how this started with a kiss and ended with one. There's a nice theme going on here. And I like how there's no messing about with past issues that aren't really relevant to the storyline.

One thing I also liked was how you portrayed Alex's obsession with the guy he met without making him sound like a clingy girl type, which some people tend to do when writing in a guy's point of view. That's another thing - you can think like a guy. I like that.

The only thing that struck out for me that needs working on is your use of commas - be careful not to overuse them because otherwise you may end up slowing the pace too much. I'm sure you know that commas are inserted to indicate to the reader that there is a pause; if you weren't, I'd be a bit worried x]
Just an example of that: "Though, I didn’t know this guy, I had the strange feeling, that I've met him before." The sentence is broken up into four parts, when it could be broken up into two: "Though I didn't know this guy, I had the strange feeling that I've met him before." If you read the two out loud, you'll see that the second one flows a bit better. Just think about when you'd pause if you were to speak the sentence and I doubt you'd use commas excessively anymore.
But that's a relatively minor issue, and the people who's stories I have commented so far will know that I'm a major bone-picker, so take it as a compliment that I only had one issue with this :)

Just One Kiss leaves the reader hanging and wanting more and has a captivating storyline.
I enjoyed reading this; thank you for writing it for my contest!

!Flash x

I'll be completely honest, I'm not a big All Time Low fan, but boy love is something I can't deny. And I thank you for entering this in my story because it made me read something I normally wouldn't.
It was absolutely adorable! I thought it was cute how they all met up in the end, Jack and Alex. I especially loved the little kiss at the end.
You have potential and I'm honored that you entered this in my contest!

i like this! its cute XD