I like how this is written in second person, you don't see it all too often. :) I also like how it's got that accusatory tone throughout the majority of the story, and the narrator doesn't specifically say what has been done, but something has been done that's upset everyone. I think it's neat how you show the emotions of the parents, and that by the time he(?) comes to the hospital, everyone else is almost too weak to care about him. I'm not too sure about the ending - because I feel like it would have been more effective if she didn't wake up, and that he was too late in getting there. I just feel like the slight happiness in the end feels a little off for the rest of what was written.
August 9th, 2011 at 05:41am
