According to You - Comments

ohhh my gahhh the backround picture (:
but the story so far, i wanna see whats gonna happen!

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I almost died from the layout. xD

They're having a 'we're getting a divorce barbecue'" lol. It's cool that she was able to find him in some of her pictures. Shaun, you photobomber, you.

love it :)

Okay...

The word you're looking for is SIGHING and in I "sighed" she "sighed" they are "sighing" ect. As in to to take in and let out a deep audible breath in relief or weariness.

Not SIGHTED. That technically isn't even a word in that context. It drove me absolutely insane throughout all the chapters.

You have to watch your tenses too. They flip every which way that they can. you go from past tense to present tense to future tenses all in the same sentence...It makes your English come off horribly awkward every other paragraph.

You REALLY have to watch your grammar, because it's the only thing pulling this story under right now.

I really will never understand why a story has subscribers and comments and no one EVER points it out. So i'm just letting you know, because this story could go somewhere good. Don't let it be marred by all those errors. And don't worry, trust me, some of them slip when you're editing. I know, it's fustrating as all heck. But some of them are done repeatedly, which isn't a typo as much as bad grammar on your part. Just fix it and you'll be golden.

There are plenty of people on Mibba willing to help you out and edit your chapters for you, think about it.

AH My Favorite Highway<3

:)

i cant wait for the next chapter!!! I♥Shaun!

Aww Shaun is sweet. I like it. Update soon!

i like it. can't wait to see what happens. :)

very intresting i like it :) well, the title definately cuaght my atention and the whole "sex with my brother" thing wasn't something u could easily ignore either, so i just had to keep reading lol good job