Awwwwww. <3 This was soooo adoorable. I'm sure everyone else has said the same thing, but it's only because it really is. I thought the idea of a girl waiting for her daddy to come home was so touching. I'm very close to my dad. Even though I don't talk to him about my problems, I can't stand it when he's feeling blue or someone's trying to take advantage of him (he's very soft, so it happens). I can relate to this so well too. Everyone downstairs waiting, impatient, chattering. I, the most impatient of all, waiting, pacing, until finally I hear the car and the jingle of the keys.
I love this story. <3 So short, but it speaks so much.
Aw this is adorable! I love the door at the top; It looks like a cute little drawing or painting or something and while it still looks classy and attractive it has an innocent, almost immature feel to it which suits the story because even though the subject matter is kind of immature (a young child and her father) it doesn’t sound...well dumb – it’s still very well written and professional. This story is great and has such a sweet simplicity to it, the sentence structure is perfect, the short, choppy sentences really create the rushed, excited feel that the child has as her father is going to come home.
Like everyone else has said, this was cute! I loved the amount of emotion you have put into this 50 words. You have put so much into this, even if it is so short. I have to say, well done!
ah! I love this! it conveys emotions perfectly~ I remember feeling this when my dad came home from a trip, or even just a regular day at work :) I just can't put it in words, how much I love this. :C
Ha; the authors note made me think that the layout gets more attention than the story.
Firstly: the rules. The homemade layout was there (which I loved - very neat and easy on the eyes), as was the link to my contest. Grammar seemed tip-top, although it wasn't long or withholding complicated description, so I kind of expected as much.
Going on to the actual story - if you can call it that... it was almost a poem. The way you set it out, I'm close to suggesting you publish it as a free verse poem as opposed to a story. I can't comment on the story line or description because it was so short these things couldn't stand out. The information present, however, did put a lot of thought into my mind as to what the big picture could be, the rest of it.
The whole thing was short and quaint and I think it was a nice little build away from the big, over-complicated stories of Mibba -and I love quaint!
Well done! Please continue checking the contest page for the results
Aw, that was cute. I remember when I was little I'd always jump up out of my bed at night when I would see that my daddy was finally home from work. ^^
I love this. I'm always interested when it comes to drabbles, because I think it takes a very talented writer to convey emotion in so little words. It's a hard thing to do. It sometimes becomes disjointed and makes no sense, but this ... this was beautiful.
Not only could you feel love, you could also feel excitement. The whole thing just moved with activity, and it was just so brilliantly touching. Well done =D
I always love it when an author finds a way to spek volumes with such a small amount of words, and I envy you for being able to do so. The excitement and anticipation was realistic, and I like that you broke it up into lines, almost more like a poem, than just one paragraph. It actually helped convey the emotion, I interpreted it as, short lines are short thought. Which you have when you're excited.
That wasso cute!!! :]. I really liked this entry, it's also one of the ones that weren't on the depressing side which I also love. I mean sadness isn't the only emotional emotion!
I love this story. <3 So short, but it speaks so much.
-Luna
p.s., I loved the layout. c: