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Break In - Comments

  • pepper potts.

    pepper potts. (105)

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    One shot for one shot

    This was good. I liked it but I did notice some spelling mistakes.

    Riley and I were sitting on my bed doing each others nails-when we heard bang. Riley jumped, but I was used to it.

    ^ There should be no hyphen in that sentence.

    And I noticed some incorrect use of the semicolon.

    Other than that I thought it to be a good piece.
    You're a good writer.
    March 10th, 2010 at 06:50am
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