Photogenic - Comments

I love this series :) and I'll admit I was a bit lost trying to figure out which Matt Oli was fighting with. I love this as much as the first one though :)

I really like this, but I have to be honest, I know nothing about these people. This was really good, though. I think this is cute, especially since these two famous men are doing such domestic things. You wrote the dialog very well too, and it really drew me in. I'm really glad that I read this!!

Good job. =D

I must say, I'm more a fan of Oli than Tom, but this is really good. They have a really cute relationship, they seem real, because you never hear about grocery shopping in fanfictions.It's just unheard of fer "famous" people to be doing everyday things, no matter how domestic they may be.

I like that you kept the British accent, and the way you wrote it. Watch for consistency, though. I noticed a few places where you switch between "yeh" and "you," and you should use either one or the other - never both. The same goes for breaking the "g" off at the end of verbs. If you do it once for a word, it should happen each time that word is repeated throughout the story.

Our apartment was much close to things than my aunt and uncle’s house was.
"much closer"

Really nice job (:

they're too frickin cute! i can't wait to see how he proposes!
update again soon!

1. The layout is pretty cute(:
2. Hard to tell, but so far it's living up to its prequel! I'm very interested in reading the future chapters!
3. I really love your style of writing. It's incredibly easy to read (other than the occasional grammatical error, but you already know that XD) and I can follow this quite easily.
4. I don't know why people don't like the written accents? It helps me REALLY hear him saying the words. It's imagery, stimulating the senses. Particularly, here, the sense of sound. I see no problem with writing the accents. So keep it up(:
5. UPDATE SOON!
x,
Holli

REALLY?
I WANT TO HEAR!
I've heard him in womb 2 da tomb but that doesnt count!
He was adorable huh?

I think this is really awe worthy, I subscribed and everything, I definitely want to read more.

There are a few bits where you messed up on spelling and punctuation, but other than that, this was really well written.

Wish I could say more, but I have to go. Will comment better when you write more!

I like the layout. Very pretty.
Not a big fan of fan-fictions, but I am a fan of BMTH so I guess that makes up for it xD
I like how Tom is all lovey dovey with her XD
He also acts a bit childish and makes it more 'awww' worthy.

Some mistakes I saw:
grabbed both bags in one had while...
I believe you meant 'hands'
...groceries so we don’t have to stave until tomorrow.”
starve?
We don’t ‘ave ta each on those daft telly trays yeh aunt gave us.”
I understand that they have accents and all but you can leave that to the reader to make a part of the story. Reading a lot of this made my head do a double take because soooo many things were worded like the above.
“You like mushrooms right...
you need a comma before right.
...and smiled as we walked toward me.
He?
There were other mistakes, as well.
I'd suggest to re-read and re-word some things. Would make this LOADS more better than it already is.
Other than that I'd give it a 5.2 out 10

The summary and the banner picture is utterly adorable. Especially the last line.

Just like she wanted.

I just found that to be cute. But I won't read anymore because I haven't finished your other story yet. :) Haha But I'll be back when I have.

I find this layout absolutely adorable
the banner picture is cute, and the layout picture is gorgeous <3
aww they just moved in together, that's cute :)
I like how casual they're conversation is,
because it seems that they're effortlessly together :)
ahh Tom is a vegetarian <3 hell yeah! me too :)
such a gentlemen- just going up and getting the groceries
it's adorable that he remembered that happened :)
and he's letting her go where she's wanted to go for a long time <3
this seriously was just a very cute, and good chapter <3 :D

(I'm going to have to read this as original, since I know absolutely nothing about these people)
This is a great first chapter. I haven't read the original, so I can't make comments on if it lives up to the prequel.
I really admire your style and the way you word your dialogue. The written emphasis on the accent or dialect would usually bug me, but the way it's used here didn't.
If you had to change anything, I'd say that I don't much care for having the text centered on the page. It gives me a headache to read.
But that's pretty much it. Nice job here.