He Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty - Comments

awww i'm so happy this was updated, i missed it tooooo

Oh dear :[
Idon'tevenknowwhattosay

Tons of Mibba story notifications built up in my email box because I was gone forever. Anyways, I'm back now and have caught up on this story once more. This one is a favorite of mine and I do hope you continue it. I can't wait to read what you have in store for Cyril and Kolby

YEah! i haven't been here in forever!
But awsomeness!!! we all knew something like this was going to happen.
the thing that makes it awsome is that now you don't know what will happen next.
Will Kobly leave because he feels like he's using Cyril? if so why?
or will they end up together? twists and choices you got to love them! KeeP it Up! :D

That could cause some problems

This is a really good story :) You're a great writer.

You have quite a way with detail; that much was evident right from the prologue. You set the scene perfectly and instantly launched us into the action. He is sprawled across the mattress like old coats are strewn across furniture. I adored that line; it's a unique comparison but I believe it worked perfectly, especially considering the surroundings. There are so many other lines I want to mark down as well; your descriptions and similies are amazing.

His he problem that somewhere in the back... I'm not sure what happened at the beginning of the sentence. I'm not sure what you were going for so I thought I'd point it out. (: That section about his intestines strangling him was very well done; that's exactly what grief feels like.

I can imagine his tone... I'm not sure but I think this should be could, since the rest of the chapter was in third person. Other than that, the only other mistake I saw was at the end of the chapter when the italics just randomly disappeared. However: you are a very talented writer, your descriptions are flawless and I throughly enjoyed the first chapter. (:

I can't wait for you to update.
I love how your so descriptive, but not overly-so.
I also love the fact that this isn't just another one of those 'come out, flirt, sex, over' slash stories. Your ideas are very original and it's amazing. :)

o.o
that last sentence was rather worrisome
poor poor fragile kolby

This is unlike any slash I've read on here before. That is a wonderful thing, because I'd assume that any originality with slash had sort of dissappeared. I've only read the first chapter, but you can expect me to be reading more, subbing as well. Your detailing is a bit excessive at times, though, but it hasn't distracted too much from the focal point. Also, when you said, lifeless corpse's, I feel you could do without one or the other. Considering as how a corpse is already lifeless, it seems a bit silly to put that before corpse. Perhaps lifeless body instead, or chilling corpse.

The silence is practically screaming; a deafening noise, shrill and ear-splitting, forcing itself against my skull in cruel determination.

That was my favorite sentence in the entire thing. It is executed perfectly.

I'm only through two chapters and I can't wait to read more :) <3

YEah YOu UPdated!!!
PRetty GOod, PRetty GOod - COuld USe ONe MOre THing THough.
ANother UPdate!!!
CAn't WAit! THe SUspens IS KIlling ME! :P

i really like this story..i just found it today.
there is sooo much tension, i just love it, haha

Ahhhh thank you for the update!
Update again soon please?
I really wanna know what happens next. :)

you, ma'm, are a very good writer.
I really want to know what happens next.
more soon? ps i like carter he's a cool character :)

*ithinkicanithinkicanithinkican*

THis WAs REally Awsome!
i love this story so much i just finished reading the 7 chapters today!
gee ari wait to make it sound like you have no life..... but seriously-
i really cant wait for you to update!!! :D

I absolutely love this story.
I love how everything seems so complicated and mysterious (at least to me it does)
and I love the way you've descibed your characters.
This is an amazing story, and I cant wait to read more. :)

The title is really cool, I like it! ^_^

I don't like the layout, because it bugs my eyes.

I love the story so far, because I like present tense, I think it's harder to write (for me at least) and so I apreciate people who can pull it off, like you.

ACK.

I love this!

I never really read slash, but chapter one was amazing! -flails-

The layout and title are both - beautiful, in some sort of the sense.

Though I'm not a fan of present tense, I think you pulled it off.

This was gorgeous, in a very sick and twisted way.