I Miss You - Comments

~I’m judging for this contest. ~

Firstly: the rules. The layout was okay; although I didn’t like that the picture was tiled. It made it that little bit less easy on the eyes. Grammar seemed good, although the link to my contest was not there.

The plotline wasn’t exactly original. And the thing with the type of story it was, was that it relied completely on the emotion the author must install in the reader. Your writing lacked impact. It was too weak. You should have used more powerful words where possible.

Well-done
Make sure to keep checking the comp page for the results!

I loved this. It had a good plot and was well written.

Couple of things (not to sound like a know-it-all):
"“You a**-hole! Why would you do this?” I screamed at the seemingly empty bathroom." I know people react differently to things, but I can see anyone coming into a room, faced with an armed man prepared to shoot them and ask why they were doing this. Fair enough if they were bound stuck somewhere... it just doesn't seem likely.

The other is that your sentences are properly formed, you close them off in places they're not supposed to and pick up at the beginning of sentences with connectives.

Other than that I like you plot, and except for a couple of spelling mistakes and the above it was pretty good! :D

very good (: i liked it alot you should write more.

Alright. So, that just left me with questions at the end.
Anyways, it was a good story, yes.
The plot was original and I like that.
Cliche plots are getting annoying.
The layout doesn't really fit the story, but that really doesn't matter I guess.
I just personally like stories with nice layouts to keep me interested.
As far as the paragraphs are concerned, they could have been spaced out a little better.

And it was me who watchedhermy husband get shot.

Other than that, good story. And good luck in the contest. <3 Jackie a.k.a Char.Man.Der

Wow, that was amazing. Good luck!

It was sad... I liked it, but it would've been nice if we could have found out what the debt was.