Persuasion - Comments

-explodes-
That was glorious.
Your details are amazing, your dedication to the plot was a nice change of pace, your writing in general is just really, really good.
Hm, I might as well go read it again :D

i cant begin to describe in words how good this story is! u put so much detail into it! it was pure bliss. it was just... perfect! can u plz write more of the story?

This was just... oh... my God... oh...
I can't explain to you have GREAT OF A JOB you did here.
Just like Lee said: Everything was amazing.
This is probably on of the sexiest stories I've ever read. God knows that I'll be dreaming of Itachi tonight.

Okay, I'm no fan of quoting stories and making huge reviews that pretty much have tons of quotations, so I'll make a review over feeling, description, and characters.

Descriptions:
I've said it before and I still sustain it: Your descriptions are fucking glorious.

I can picture everything and you still manage to leave enough details aside to make the readers use their imagination.

Another thing that I like, you do not use flowery imagery. I simply adore that, because I'm not into that sort of writing. I prefer a bit of flowery words, but not a story full-on that style.

Felling
OH ME GAWD
I was all jumpy while reading.

You managed to convey the paranoia that Sachiko felt while being observed very well Like I told you on the PM, I actually felt like bing watched, too

And the freaking anticipation! I was dying while reading, wanting to scroll down to sexy time

Characters
Both of your characters, although already existing ones, you managed to make them your own with those wonderful descriptions and the dialogue, and of course, their actions.

It was simply brilliant and I was all while reading it

Absolutely amazing job!

So, I contend so so much with those who've commented before me. It's just sexy. Dead sexy.

Everything's described well enough so that I felt like I was there, but nothing was filler or fluff which is perfect. I hate reading something that doesn't have to be there; pointless, useless.

Just...wow. The characters popped out well, the plot was well defined and fufilled. I'd recommend it any day.

Oneshot for oneshot

I've never read anything of this genre before so I really wasn't sure what to expect.

I really enjoy your writing style, you describe things really well; I could almost see what was going on in the story inside of my head which was great.

I really loved how you showed the characters' personalities, that was really awesome. (:

I didn't really see any mistakes in this, but I'm not very good at picking out grammar errors or stuff like that anyways.

So yeah, this was really really nice.
I like it a lot. :D

Do you.... do you have any idea just how much 'unf' this story is?
DO YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA JUST HOS ARROUSING IT IS?!
Oh my god. It's off the carts, for kami's sake.
I saw some grammar mistakes, but I wasn't sure how to fix them, tbh. I fail at that kind of stuff, so I'll just stick with the main idea.

You portrayed Sachiko's personality exceptionally well, mostly when she screamed at the birds to 'stfu'. I personally loved that part; it was very comical, even when she was in a tight situation. Itachi is a mysterious character overall, we only know he's some arrogant, yet infuriatingly sexy, emotionless robot that well... you know how it goes. I really loved how you portrayed him, though. His attraction to Sachiko could be a onetime thing, or it could eventually evolved... we just don't know. I love that, how you left the reader (or at least me) with some questions.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW 'UNF' THIS STORY IS!?
I believe you do not, so let me make this clear.
This story is uuuuuuuuuunf.

I fucking KNEW it was Itachi!
God, that was hot, the detail was perfect

I love it!
I secretly have an obsession with Itachi but now its not a secret.
Im afraid i will have to shot you in a drive by near taco bell!

Unf, okay. Just complete and total and utter unf.
Luh this.