The Vanishing House - Comments

this is so damn interesting! i love how it's developing! i'm quite sure the cure for his curse is love... i wish you would update this after all this time! xx

OMG AN UPDATE. I'm freaking out <3

yayy you finally updated!!

I love this story as much as I love how you write it. It does me much pleasure of saying so because it has really brought me off guard in every chapter.

I hope you could keep on updating, you wouldn't want your readers to wait would you? :))

Good heavens, This is almost like a book that I have read. Which I seem to have forgotten the title.

This is better than that book.

I absolutely adore your story. I quite love it, actually. Even though there were some parts which I cannot seem to understand. I do fancy your layout and writing style. Nonetheless, I was swept away by your story.

Do update more, please? I am most sure that there are lots of people who wants to read this story and can't wait to read it as much as I do.

hi. update now. thanks.

oh my gawwwd this layout is awesome

Oh girrrlll, I am lovin’ your command of language (yeah, I talk this way to strangers; just not in real life, sadly). Seriously, it makes my brain happy! Especially the first paragraph. Descriptions are unique and your voice seems very sure of itself yet quirky. Everything flows together really nicely. I just love it a lot.

Now for critique.

Two slight anomalies, perhaps:
“It was where the grass was still our grass before we surrendered it to an oncoming forest of trees.”
Because earlier you did say there were plains between the town and the trees.
And Denny goes to find the House, Nelly searches over the town for him first instead of going directly to the Green, where the House always is.

Also, you don’t need to capitalize the “The” whenever you refer to the House; since it’s an article like “a.”

1st paragraph of chapter 2 seemed a little “thesaurus-heavy”…even if you didn’t actually use a thesaurus, it had the feel of it. In general it makes people seem like they’re trying too hard to sound like they have a good vocabulary. No offense, of course. I guess it’s a pet peeve.

Language gap – characters speak/narrate in a modern way, then later in a more antiquated way. A few references Nell makes (boxers, etc.) don’t seem to fit with the seclusion of the town. Maybe make them both even out toward each other?

Otherwise I adore this story. Favorite quotes:
Then a wind picked up, assembling my hair in its fingers.
They leaped out of my mouth like horses hopping fences
All I had to do was blink and everything could have changed, like when a painter blemishes canvas, or a poet adjusts his commas.
When he talked, Benton's eyes flitted about the room, like he was seeing a million flecks of stardust and wanted to memorize them all.
Or maybe he was opening a closet to find the skeletons mixed in with the coats.
Your tropes are like little pieces of candy. And don’t worry, you’re great at imagery! Can't wait to read about their quest!

From the very first paragraph, I was utterly swept away in this story. The descriptions in your writing are simply fantastic; I am, in complete honesty, utterly jealous of you. It has an almost elegant feel to it, a sort of grace found in the words. The story itself is fascinating; I have never heard anything like it before, and believe me, that's a good thing. It's refreshing, honestly. The characters are engaging and I never grew bored of them, which I'm apt to do at times. You're a very skilled writer.

It's a very unique, intriguing story and I really hope you continue to write it because it's gorgeous. It's a work of art all on its own. The layout is utterly lovely as well (although I did note that the image to the left of the text doesn't repeat very well...That's neither here nor there, however).

Beautiful, beautiful job.

Hello. I finally got to reviewing your story today, sorry for the delay.

You can find it here.

Have a wonderful day!

This story is really awesome. I can't wait to see what happens when she jumps out of her window.

gasp! He's cursed!

Holy shit, this is good. That's the first thought that popped into my mind when I started reading this. This is so original.

I love all of the elements that you have in this story in all stories, and I just have to keep reading. And you have to keep writing.

I'm subscribing!

Doctor

I love your descriptions. They're so lovely.

Wow this is good!! :D

I'm surprised to see that there weren't very many comments for this. This story is very original, and intriguing. You've got me for a subscriber for sure. (:

Keep writing ! I must know what lies in that house XD <3

I quite like this, especially how you ended the prologue.
It ended very well. Can't wait for the next update.

You have a subscriber. :)