What would you do if you had to marry your cousin? - Comments

yay for observant moms! :D

GeeandBobrockmysocks:

*girly scream!!!* YES! I'M SO so so so glad they got to get married!!

Me too, it's about time they did!!!!! XD

*girly scream!!!* YES! I'M SO so so so glad they got to get married!!

you really need to write before I am maddened by this cliffhanger *begs at your feet* PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

I feel bad for missing the update!
It was great!!!!!!!!

le gasp!!! more soon!

Quote

the ring was cold, but it made her feel warm because she knew it came from John.

...i love that line.

reminds me of my Granny's blankets.

she died in '99--cancer, y'know--but every time i touch the blanket I can still feel her hugs. :D

I'll start off with what I liked. I liked the entire two chapters. They were pieced together perfectly, and it flowed. As, do all of your chapters.
But... *dun dun dun* I did find some errors, that I would change if it were me writing. In chapter eight:
“Ok, so up the stairs to the left, right?” Annie said getting up from John’s lap and walking up the stairs into the tavern. John just sat outside on the stoop for a while looking up at the glistening stars in the black night sky. He then made a wish, and then walked into the tavern and up to his room with Annie.
If it were me writing I would probably hit the enter key after: “Ok, so up the stairs to the left, right?” Annie said getting up from John’s lap and walking up the stairs into the tavern. But, you know that is just me.
For Chapter Nine:
I recommend spaces between each saying, and paragraph so it’s not confusing the reader.
“--Maybe we don’t know what Philadelphia will bring, but no matter what I will give whatever it takes to protect you, so we can have an AMAZING new life, together.”
I suggest that instead of using capitals use bold or italics. It’s just easier to understand and read. Other than that, it was an excellent update.

Summary: "Expectually" is not a word.

*does happy update dance*

awwwwwwwww so adorable ^^

wuvs it more soon pretty plz!

Twas a sweet update! XD

oh crap.
and a cliffhanger too?
write soon or i may lose my mind!!

le gasp! more soon plz!!

....Cousin Bob really needs to diappear.
:D
I like the update, keep up with the good work.
More soon?

lol @ chapter name. Dot...Dot...Dot!
EHMAGOD BOB IS DEAD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!
And, will the ring be found by the wrong people?

Thanks to everyone that suscribed and or commented because it really helps and it keeps me writing, and I wasn't thinking of MCR when I wrote this so Bob isn't based of that Bob. Just thought I would say that...anyways...thanks everyone!

oi.

marrying your cousin?

ick.

i hope she runs off with john sometime soon...

bob's a creep.

(eep, i feel guilty saying that....bob from mcr keeps coming to mind...)

*new reader*

wuvs it more soon plz!!