Warrior - Comments

Wow. It doesnt matter that it doesnt have to do with sailor moon! i love how you combined God with it! a true work of art! Please, write more!

"Serena is not clumsy as Sailor Moon"
Sorry, I meant to say Sailor Moon is not clumsy like Serena.

Here is your short critique as promised. You did a fantastic job for not knowing anything about the show. There was a few grammatical mistakes, one syntax mistake along with two or so in spelling, but nothing that drastically bugged me. As SmurfGirl pointed out, Serena is not clumsy as Sailor Moon, but I'll let that slip, considering you had to do this all based on research.

Second point, the plot blended in amazingly with Sailor Moon, at first I was a bit hesitant on letting you do this, but I do not regret my choice. Caley(I looked at the character page), was very similar to being like Serena, which is perhaps why it made the story fit well together. The storyline was amazing, and I look forward to reading more of your things. You are guaranteed a place in the top three, I will PM you with your spot.

I think u did very well for not knowing anything about Sailor Moon. I used to watch it all the time. A couple things though.
1.) I sighed, “Look, we don’t have time for you insecurities. You will have God on your side, just follow your instincts.” - the you should be your

2.) she's isn't really to clumsy when she's transformed, it's more when she's not. Though once in a while she is clumsy when she's Sailor Moon.