Wish - Comments

This is beautiful, and the details are amazing. Everything about this story is so realistic.

"You don't need to impress me to get me to like you or think highly of you. I already do. I love you, Roxas. Nothing's ever going to change that."
That line is definitely my favorite. It's so sweet, and so Axel.

Oops, it supposed to be killed.
Gomen ne.

Oh my God. You did it again, Tara!
The detail was beautiful and I can just imagine it.

You killed me with this part right here:

"Roxas, look at me," Axel said softly. The blonde's head stayed put, his gaze on the grass so intense you thought he could make it grow. Axel sighed, and moved closer to Roxas, putting one hand on the blonde's shoulder, the other under his chin, tilting it upward ever so slightly so he could gaze into the sea of blue that was Roxas' eyes. "You don't need to impress me to get me to like you or think highly of you. I already do. I love you, Roxas. Nothing's ever going to change that."


AMAZING.

I only caught one mistake in the first paragraph. I think shown is supposed to be shone or shined if you meant the past tense of shine.

The interaction between the two is just phenomenal. It's sweet and loving while being realistic. Nothing was too other-worldly or unbelievable. Honestly, if anyone said to me the words spoken by the lead characters, I'd buy them. It's tangible, and that's something hard to achieve when you're writing about two fictional characters.

Again, you know me and my relationship with slash and gaming/anime characters; it's not a major one. And yet again, this doesn't feel like it's straight from a gaming plot. Heck, it's not even really a slashy plot; it's a universal love story. The two lovers just happen to both be of the same gender and happen to be fictional characters. Though the plot isn't common, it's simple and good; it could actually happen to someone and possibly has.

It's chock full of splendor, and I love it.

This is so cute!

I love it. They're so perfect. And you got their personalities down perfectly.

That's so kawaii, Sempai ~ !

Wish:

"Roxas, look at me," Axel said softly. The blonde's head stayed put, his gaze on the grass so intense you thought he could make it grow.

That was definitely my favorite part! I felt the intensity of Axel's words, and the desperate feeling Roxas felt when trying to avoid his gaze. Simply genius!