January 8th, 2011 at 06:22pm
I love it. :) The last paragraph is just beautiful. Especially the line about the stopwatch. And, "There is no more denial and no more desire and no more kisses or cuddles or sex."
Oh, I think you mean "bred", rather than "bread". :3
You really captured the unspoken feelings and pain of their relationship. <3
It was all bread out of a sorrowful situation and a selfish hunger.
That line, right there, was the reason I decided to write you a comment because it was just that damn good so damn early in this amazing story and I knew whatever came after that would keep blowing my mind away.
I love how the second paragraph paints the portrait of their relationship, it almost feels like a drug addiction. The denial and need and faking a life a part from the drugs. It really painted an amazing portrait of two entangled souls.
The Captain knows this routine well and he pretends not to notice the sharp sting when his lover walks out without even looking at him, just as tea-boy ignores the thrust of pain when he closes the door to his only window of happiness.
This really tugs at your heart knowing just how self-aware they really are of how they are being hurt by or hurting themselves by doing this to each other. It's definitely a gut dropper.
And oh my god, those last two sentences. Way to just tear the reader a part. Him not even realizing he was crying until he becomes so damn vulnerable without him. It really leaves you with the thought that it just doesn't get better for him and that's a great way to end a couple like this.