Repose - Comments

Story Review Game

Layout I like the layout, and I think it goes well with the song you were given.

Summary I loved the summary. You told just enought with the excerpt that it gave away just enough, but not to much.

"My head hurts," he said suddenly. Gerard had a way of doing that; that thing where he just exclaimed little out-loud thoughts whether the room gave a fuck or not.

I think this was one of my favorite quotes throughout this story. It made me smile for some unknown reason.


"It must have been." Frank turned back into the room. "I do love you, Gerard. And I guess you love me. But you'll love a lot more people in the future. Just like me." Gerard looked on blankly, chain-smoking like a fucking chimney at Christmas.

this nearly made me cry!!! I didn't want him to leave!!! This really sucked me into this story!!!!

Frank left the bedroom smiling and nodding, sliding his car keys from the dresser. He took one last look of Gerard wrapped up in a swirl of smoke and the unconscious lump beside him. No, he would not feel differently in the morning, but it still meant a lot that Gerard noticed he was tired.

I was so glad that this ended at least a little hopefully! It made me simle.

Overall

I love your writing style. This story itself made me so happy. I rarley ever feel the emotions in stories anymore, but I felt it in this. It was absoluetly amazing. I loved it. Two thumbs up. =D

Aww, how sad. :(
By the way, I meant to put this up in the contest page, but I forgot, I don't take away points for it being a one shot.
I liked the fact that it was sad, but it was still kind of hopeful, y'know?
Excellent job. :]

xo ~Waking the Fallen.

Story Review Game

‘Kay, My Chemical Romance and Owl City are two of my favourite things, so I couldn’t resist reviewing this.

I liked the way you began this. It didn’t give too much away and made me want to keep reading, which I love in a story. The thing which really struck me about it, however, was the dialogue- it was fantastic. Normally I get bored when there’s a lot of continuous dialogue, but in this case, the conversation between Frank and Gerard kind of...slowly unravelled the story. As it progressed, it told us more and more about their relationship.

I also loved the little sexual jokes in there:

"Why did you agree to it then, Frank?" Gerard said and his hands thrust at the air. Frank was sick of seeing him thrust things.

Everything about Gerard was easy. Last night showed Frank that more than anything.

They made me giggle. The humour suggested (to me, anyway) that although Frank’s bitter about the whole thing, he still loves Gerard.

As for how well it goes with Vanilla Twilight, I’m not too sure. But that’s only because I have my own interpretation of the song, and it’s not similar to yours at all. However, I can see where you’re coming from with your interpretation.

Overall, good job. :) I normally don’t read Frerards, but I enjoyed this.

I love this. It's really that simple.