I’m here as the new host for ‘The Band Dude Contest’.
This was such a cute ‘best friends to lovers’ story. I don’t usually like these because it’s hard to write them without it being kind of repetitive, but this was a really cute variation of it. I loved the whole treehouse thing and then Jack being Extra™ with the whole wall declaration. It was so big time middle school and cheesy that it actually made me laugh, but I thought it was very fitting. Especially considering they totally misread each other and created drama out of nothing.
You did have a lot of spelling and grammatical errors that were distracting a lot of the time. A couple of examples being:
If your not willing to come to help out for him, do it for me! — ‘Your’ should be ‘you’re’ instead as ‘your’ is possessive and ‘you’re’ is the contraction of ‘you are’.
Nothing new every happens. — Should be ‘ever’.
“he’s waiting fro you.” — For.
I would definitely maybe getting an editor to help you catch and fix all these mistakes as it would help your readers stay in the story and in the flow because every error was like tripping for me. Other than that, this was a cute story.
July 8th, 2017 at 09:36am
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This was such a cute ‘best friends to lovers’ story. I don’t usually like these because it’s hard to write them without it being kind of repetitive, but this was a really cute variation of it. I loved the whole treehouse thing and then Jack being Extra™ with the whole wall declaration. It was so big time middle school and cheesy that it actually made me laugh, but I thought it was very fitting. Especially considering they totally misread each other and created drama out of nothing.
You did have a lot of spelling and grammatical errors that were distracting a lot of the time. A couple of examples being:
If your not willing to come to help out for him, do it for me! — ‘Your’ should be ‘you’re’ instead as ‘your’ is possessive and ‘you’re’ is the contraction of ‘you are’.
Nothing new every happens. — Should be ‘ever’.
“he’s waiting fro you.” — For.
I would definitely maybe getting an editor to help you catch and fix all these mistakes as it would help your readers stay in the story and in the flow because every error was like tripping for me. Other than that, this was a cute story.