Beast of Blood - Comments

The corrections I made are in brackets.
They sat pressed against the boulder as if wanting to sink [into] it and become one, shying away from the sun, retreating [into] the [boulder's] shade. They could not be spotted. Richard should be [coming;] he was a nature [man. He] would be the one to know the best way to run from the evils that [pursued] them, the final three. Andrea trembled next to [him,] both she and James frantically flickering their eyes from place to place. All senses on [edge,] they didn't dare look behind them.

I'm sorry about my previous comment. Usually, premade layouts don't bother me that much, but I was kind of in a bad mood while reading the story. xD
But now that I'm in a better mood, the layout didn't bother me at all. :)) Anyway, I've read the whole thing, and I gotta say, the descriptions are pretty nice. I'm glad that you were generous with them, that you didn't hold back. But the sentence structures are a bit off because of the run-ons and missing apostrophes, which kind of distracts from the beauty of the descriptions.

I especially liked the part where he found the crystals in the cave. It kind of made me breathe a sigh of relief with him. That was my favorite part.

Another thing, try spelling out numbers that are under ten.

For a dream, the way this was told actually made sense. Good job with that because most dreams are hard to write down w/o being too weird. :)

The 1st paragraph is interesting, but it has a few typos and a lot of missing commas. That, combined with the layout, kinda put me off. :|

Thanks to your random dreams?
Is it based on a dream?
Awesome!
Some really great description in there:D
"The need to survive was overbearing, as if it would burst from their bodies and manifest physically"
-Excellant.

i really like this! update soon?