Tides of the Broken - Comments

*Comment Swap*
This is beautiful. First of all your description is amazing. It really helps you get in the story. I just loved how you described things. Your descriptions are just beautiful. Everything flowed really nicely. Good job!

this was great, the first paragraph alone contained so much detail that i essentially had to keep reading. you're a great writer, the way you write is lovely and you have such voice that comes through, and you have a nice handle on the characters and making me feel attached even through something as short as one chapter. one mistake i saw was in the dialogue, for example, "Blah blah blah," She said. the s doesn't have to be capitalized! I'm glad i found this in the comment swap!

Fantastic story. I mean wow. Love how you incorporated an element of insufficience with the typical American woman's dream--living large, the perfect husband, more money than she can wish for; therefore creating a strange plotline of never feeling like anything amounts, or is enough, or is at all what you wanted.

I feel kinda bad for main character. She seems kinda confused as to what she wants now, and what she wanted before; she's kind of wised up since she started this life I guess.

Sadly, no time to finish it all (long chapter you got there), but I did enjoy reading it. You're a seriously good author.

Keep up the good work~

Wow, this was a great story. It reminds me of a movie that I saw a long time ago, but I can't remember the title of it. Anyway, it was meant to show that money doesn't buy anything other than material items.

I thought this was really well done! You captured everything about her life and how awful it was, even if she got everything she thought she ever wanted. The rich husband, the great house and car - everything we all dream of having. But you also described how it was like a curse at the same time. Not having real friends, having nothing to work for and stuff of that sort.

Honestly, I feel bad for her husband, Bruce. Like he had that heart attack and she didn't even care. But I guess there was never love in the marriage, so she didn't have to really care. It just seems sad, that even your spouse doesn't care what happens to you.

It was sad that her sister rejected her way of living and that it ruined their friendship. Stuff like that always sucks. Losing someone you love or a best friend for a boy, that's the worst. ):

The whole time I was reading this, I seriously thought she would turn her life around at the end. Divorce Bruce, get with Sully, fix things with her sister and become happy again. But the end was just... sad. :3

That was fantastic, though! I'm glad that I read this. (:

I really thought that you had a great amount of detail in your story. There were a few mistakes that I saw, but they were just minor mistakes that if you spent 30 seconds on it, they would be gone

“Oh? You two seemed tighter than a joey and his mum as I recall,” He stated amiably. You just don't need to capitalize the "h" in he. That is actually the only mistake that I caught onto.

I felt that you had great character structure, and I love how you started by making the husband have a heart attack to show that she didn't really care about him.

I hope that you continue writing.

I really liked all the descriptions in the first paragraph. You were able to take something beautiful like the ocean and make it seem lackluster. Amazing job!

I hated your main character. I had trouble feeling sympathy for someone that married for money. I think she is a total bitch, but that's just me. Haha!

This was beautiful. Especially the part where Sully was about to leave Keri. I could feel her vulnerability and brokenheartedness. Awww. And I'm quite happy with the ending too.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I feel all cool because I got the sneak preview of this :D
Love it.

Oh my god. This was... Amazing. Every part of it was amazing. It felt so real, so unique. The emotion in this was incredible. I was crying at the end. You did such a fabulous job with this piece of art. I can tell it came from the heart, and it definitely effected mine.