Oh my god, that was... simply breathtaking. I absolutely love what you did with the picture, it's very different but it fits perfectly and created a really emotional context that you pulled off very well. Every sentence flowed perfectly, and I could not find one mistake. Your writing evoked emotion and you wrote it in such a way that I could feel her numbness, and her reaction to her brother's death. It was perfect.
The doll was broken, shattered, and irreparable, just like her. Nothing could ever make it right again, nothing. That was my favourite sentence in the whole story. It was beautiful, and your wording was amazing. And as soon as I read that I had a feeling that something was going to happen, but although you lead up to it I never expected the ending.
The ending was amazing. Throughout the whole story I could feel her brokenness and her numbness, and the way you wrote the letter at the end reflected that. It's really hard to keep the same emotion through a whole story, especially in third person, but you managed to do it so well done.
This was amazing. You're a wonderful writer and I enjoyed reading this! I'll let you know when the results are out :)
The doll was broken, shattered, and irreparable, just like her. Nothing could ever make it right again, nothing. That was my favourite sentence in the whole story. It was beautiful, and your wording was amazing. And as soon as I read that I had a feeling that something was going to happen, but although you lead up to it I never expected the ending.
The ending was amazing. Throughout the whole story I could feel her brokenness and her numbness, and the way you wrote the letter at the end reflected that. It's really hard to keep the same emotion through a whole story, especially in third person, but you managed to do it so well done.
This was amazing. You're a wonderful writer and I enjoyed reading this! I'll let you know when the results are out :)