Once again, the length of the chapters are really great!
I loved chapter three. It was funny and serious at the same time. I love the ending where Tsunade made one of Sasuke's punishment (sort of) of sleeping in the same place as Sakura. That is definitely a punishment for the both of them.
This chapter was fun to read. I love the length of it too; it gives the reader something long to read, and it is great!
I don’t think it is a good idea to keep changing from third person to first person within this story. Things get a little confusing. Maybe stick to one point of view, to make the story a little less confusing to read.
I also like how you put numbers, and then translated them in the author’s note. It was really helpful.
Well, that is all I have to say. I can’t wait to read more!
There are a few comma’s missing, so you should look through the chapter again to correct them. With the flashback, you could italicize it, instead of putting “flashback” before and “end flashback” at the end of it.
(A/N If you didn’t know, he was thinking about Naruto and Sakura) I, Uchiha Sasuke, was going back to Konoha! This is not necessary to put within the chapter. You could just put it in the author’s note. That also goes with the translation; it goes in the author’s note as well.
It was then that I noticed something……….since when did I have so many emotions? When putting periods like you have here, you only need to put three of them, and then a space between the period and the next word. Like this: It was then that I noticed something… since when did I have so many emotions?
Also, thoughts can be italicized, if you want. You don’t need to capitalize whole sentences. It makes it look… unprofessional.
The font color bugged me… a lot. You should keep the font of the story content the same, or make a layout.
Overall, I really liked this first chapter and I can’t wait to read more of it! And if this comment gave off a mean vibe, I am sorry. I am not trying to be mean, I am just giving you criticism.