Persephone in a Sense - Comments

This story is so unique. It has a strong sense of mystery, and is yet blunt at the same time.

I'm really liking where it is going, and can't wait to read more.

I liked the layout and the picture at the top, although the only thing that I can say negatively about it is I can't read the quote on the banner, it's too dark and it blends in with the water.

I liked the summary but I found it confusing, even after rereading it I still don't understand it, of course that could possibly just be me, but I didn't understand how you switched topics so quickly from the first to the second paragraph but I thought the writing was overall lovely

I only read the first chapter, mostly because I'm really stretched for time (though I loved it).

The first bit of the chapter basically threw you headfirst into the story, that's something I really like about plenty of stories, I don't like to be eased in, I just like to be thrown headfirst into the story (as funny as that sounds.)

One thing I noticed as the story was going on was that CD wasn't capitalized and it should be.

Other then that it was perfect, no errors what so ever (or at least any that I could spot)

I liked the way you wrote your character, I agree with Alexander Bernadotte the writing style does suite the character, I loved the humor as well.

But anyways I thought it was brilliant.

I'll more then likely be back to read more =)

This is really clever and cute; the writing style suits the quirkiness of the character. I loved the humor as well :D I'm subbing to this <3

I think that this is amazing!
Update soon!

Petes a creeper XD
*gives cookies*
and no, you're not a terrible person :P

loved it :) keep it up

In my opinion, your writing has amazing potential. I adore this story and hope to read more from you. Update soon on this one. Amelie Rose.

I like this. Kinda different, and I love the way you write. I loathe walmart. >< Update soon. :)

Your writing style really suits the character. It's just the way I envision this character; your typical teenage girl. I adore the witty humour used, it really draws the reader in, and helps mould the character.

Nice job :)

One typo:
Having no witty comment to that, I deadpanned; "the tic tacs are yours."
The semi-colon should be a comma.

Otherwise, nice story. (:
I can relate to the main character a lot. She seems very realistic. Nice job.

Yay :3 Finally.

Oh! I've read this before too (:
I didn't know it was going to be a joint story.
This was really awesome. Definitely subbing! <3

I've only read the first chapter so far, but I liked it. When I get back from my nap I'm going to read the next one, and probably subscribe. :D Great job!

Uhh, this is amazing. You guys should update soon?
I'm subscribing. :]

I read the first chapter, I wanted to say too things before I told you my opinion.
The first, your title is capitilized wrong.
It should be Persephone in a Sense.

Secondly it's rubix cube not rubrics cube.

Annnnd, I liked it. I like the style of writing you use, and the bits of humor.
I can relate considering anything to do with children I avoid.
And I am an asshole to them.
But I'm an asshole to everyone.

Anywho, I'm going to subscribe although you'll have to remind me when it's updated. because I never ever check me email.

god Miranda, its not that short
loved it :D
*gives cookies*

I'm really curious about this story now...... so i guess i'll subscribe ;)
Update soon, or no comments from me!! Hehehe xxx

Awesome chapter :3 I loved it!

i took my time on purpose <.< >.>
pissed yet Ivy? XD
oh well i really liked it
keep it up
and i'm watchin you Ran Ran *narrows eyes*

Me like!
You bettah continue!