Le Cafe - Comments

Great story!!

First off i love the personality you give the characters right off the bat, like that T.J was a sweet guy and gentlemently. The way they conversed was really great i felt the connection. They seemed to really mesh and get along right away. I liked your element of a little surprise in the first one. I liked that you didn't drag alone on certain parts like when they first met, because sometimes too much detail can be bad.Second one got nice and steamy which is good. The little details and your descriptiveness! The smut was really interesting, i must say it kept me reading.

I would say the only thing you should work on would be like check your grammer, i know i always have to, lol

Cool! Love the second part, lol. First was adorably cute!

Really good story and amazing writing.
I really liked it.

Woo loved the 2nd part!

Yes please more stories, maybe do another TJ one? There just aren't enough on here, if not maybe toews, kane, evgeni malkin, maxime talbot?? those men are just to good looking and need more stories.

I thought the 1st part was very cute and simple and sweet. I think that the plot for the chapter 1 was very well thought out. I liked how they met and the dialogue between then two of them. You made TJ a very nice and down to Earth guy, which I loved. There were some grammar errors though.

In the 2nd part, I loved that there was smut. I like that you did a few time skips, although I wish that maybe you would have included their date. I thought that it would have given more of a feel to how they were with each other. The scene where he goes to her house before the smut. That part was amazing! :) I thought it was once again very well thought out, it was nicely written. I liked the way they interact with each other and how it progressed. The smut was excellent. I thought that there was nice detail, more detail would have just made it a little bit better. But amazing none the less. For a first smut scene I have to say WOW! That is great for a first time writing it! =) There were a lot of typos/spelling errors in the 2nd part. I'm sorry about that.

Overall I think the story was great, just the next time maybe double check the story before posting it up. Good luck in the contest! =D

Woot first comment!

Loved this and I can't wait for the second part (and the TJ lovin :D)