First off, I would like to point out an inconsistency in your story. When Alex drives Wesley home the first time she mentions her brother is not picking up the phone and she tells him she had dinner with her parents and brother for her birthday. Yet Alex says he did not know she has a brother when they are at her place.
The beginning comes kind of out of the blue to me. It feels like he suddenly wants to know her and feels bad that she doesn’t have any friends while she’s been going to his school for two years. Maybe it is because I don’t believe in love at first sight, but it feels strange to me.
However, I do love the ending very much. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. Your description of the change she’s gone through and the fact that it’s all because of him is perfectly worded.
The beginning comes kind of out of the blue to me. It feels like he suddenly wants to know her and feels bad that she doesn’t have any friends while she’s been going to his school for two years. Maybe it is because I don’t believe in love at first sight, but it feels strange to me.
However, I do love the ending very much. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. Your description of the change she’s gone through and the fact that it’s all because of him is perfectly worded.
All in all, well done.