Hey I happened to stumble upon and I must say this story so good! I am shocked at the lack of comments! You write very well, and make the characters very believeable! Update wicked soon!
the story line is good and characters are developed well, but you're sentences are too choppy. You also jump from one scene to a new scene without proper transitions. Stories usually improve over time, and i think that given some guidance that you could be a much better writer.
I really like this! I like how it's not like all those other stories out there where there's a girl afraid to talk and then suddenly we meet the guy and she's like a ball of enegry and is super talkative. Your keeping it realistic. Keep updating it! :)