Sweeter Than Poison - Comments

  • Enigmite

    Enigmite (100)

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    I like the descriptions in the last chapter, your writing style is very desriptive in emotions. Hats off to you. Ta. (Is a goodbye Hannibal gave in a letter to Clarice, look it up dude)
    December 17th, 2010 at 03:12pm
  • prettylame87

    prettylame87 (100)

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    Love your writing! Love the tone and attitude toward the audience. In the summary, you pulled me in very well and made me want to read the story. I can feel her bitterness and its just great. Only thing I see that might be unecessary is that you seem to say things that could be taken out. Like you'll say the bus pulled up to the sign that said stop, when you could've just said the bus picked us up.
    This is may opinion, and I very well could be wrong, but that's what I thought while reading it.
    July 1st, 2010 at 04:31am
  • luna phantomhive.

    luna phantomhive. (105)

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    There is no next chapter. It's a short story. There is only another shorty story in continuation to this one, if you'd like. And I changed the layout to make it easier to read(used one of the premade layouts)
    May 22nd, 2010 at 09:10pm
  • Flynn Rider

    Flynn Rider (300)

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    ^ I agree with poster above.
    Though, I'm having this slight curiosity as to what the next chapter is (:
    May 22nd, 2010 at 04:56am
  • C.J Lester

    C.J Lester (300)

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    The story layout is kind of hard on my eyes. Why don't you put a solid color behind the story text?
    May 22nd, 2010 at 04:46am