I agree with xxAshleighxx. I am so loving this story.
June 17th, 2010 at 12:43am
This story is amazing. I love the whole idea of Stockholm Syndrome, and your writing is just incredible. It may be starting slow, but I can tell it's going to be leading up to something good :)
Chapter Onr
Oh my god, you do the same thing as me! Shined is technically not a word, it's supposed to be Shone. Someone pointed it out to me the other day; it wasn't even a conscious mistake I was making!
I lost myself in the music.
I just let the world fade away. I love the short sentences. They're powerful, and the whole scene gives across very little of the character's persona, which is what led up to the next chapter. It's really great, and a really good writing technique to have!
I love the way you don't know who the man is at first, you just hear of his voice coming out through the darkness and of his 'cream blue eyes'.
It's really clever the way you've switched from a short, sweet scene, straight into a bloody one. It gives the reader no time to process the information, which may sound bad but it's a great technique to use when trying to intrigue the reader.
Chapter Two
Once again, you give the reader no knowledge about who the man is, just instead describe what he's doing. It's great, and it really fits the story well as well as keeping me incredibly intrigued :)
I love how it takes her getting kidnapped to realise what she's done wrong with her life, and it's also really clever how you give away a bit of her background without actually going into detail, which would be out of proportion to the story. Great job!
Ok, I'm definately subscribing! This story intrigues me, and I really can't wait to find out more about each character, and how they grow together. Your writing is amazing; I'm glad to have read this story!
I'll be making a banner for this one, if you don't mind! Just give me a little bit, I'm supposed to be studying... xD