Wow, I love the idea of this. Stunning, despite the length. I really enjoyed reading it, and I think the length has helped with that. You could have dragged on the feelings, but this is excellent. Brilliant job. And I agree with Matt Flyzik; about the layout
That was amazing. It really showed her feelings, fighting them, going back and forth. It was amazingly written. And, I loved how you ended it. Extra points for my favorite kind of layout: Simple, but it fits.