Red - Comments

This was really good! (:

I loved how original this was, and how the characters were also very original. I didn't have any idea what was coming or how this was going to go. Your writing was very nice, and it wasn't hard for me to picture it in my head. Sometimes I think you could've put a little more detail, but that's alright.

I kind of wished you had sticked to the original story a bit more, but you still involved Red Riding Hood in your story so that makes up for it.

Great job! (:

IT WAS REALLY GOOD!!!!! I wish you could add a little, I don't know, SOMETHING to the epilogue but other than that it was good! I don't really know what it is missing but.... even if you never add anything more to it, I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

It was an interesting read. The entire time I was reading it, I was like, "When does the BBW come get her?" But you dified my expectations.

Good job.

I am going to say that it is a little unbelievable that her parents don't care for her to that extent, but maybe that's because I don't have direct or indirect experience of this sort of thing, so I find it hard to believe.

You defied my expectations, yet it very loosely ties with the fairy Tale. If anyone else bothers writing, I'll let you know how you did.

Untill then, accept this free comment! =D

I really enjoyed reading this.
I never got bored with it, from start to finish.
The way you described Scooter and Ty in the kitchen was my favourite scene.
There was so much detail in that little moment.

Great job, it was awesome! (:

I loved this so much. Best version of Little Red Riding Hood I've ever read :)

Ty sounds amazing and I really want a dog like Scooter now. Your writing was beautiful and all the little metaphors placed in it were wonderful. The epilogue was the best finishing touch you could have. Great job!

So first of all, I applaud you for stepping out of the box (way out). Second, I would like to praise you for your depth and detail and no traces of a Mary Sue. This was more than I asked for and thus totally, beyond belief original. I very much enjoy it from beginning to the end.
Now here is were I become evil boss >:D

In the scene when describing the way the corgi slept, I advise to look over that small part and see if you can make it more visible (I guess is the word) so readers can see what happens. You describe the corgi sleeping with pads up and neck extended but if I didn't already know Jasper, then my mind would have come up with several weird, and slightly disfigured, ways the corgi could be sleeping. I kept think about a contortionist dog.

On to my second piece of advice, I suggest you take a look at the bathroom scene when the protagonist is getting cleaned up because in the way the characters were position, I believe them to be near the sink, but then found out a few sentences later that Ty was next to the door, in fact leaning upon it. So if this were to make sense of their various positions, I suggest clearing it up maybe, because in my mind, I envisioned the sink next to the shower, the toilet next to the sink, and the door next to the toilet. However I could be completely wrong and so I shall apologize. But just take look to clear things up, yeah?

The ending. What can I say about they ending. I liked it; it brought closure to the story. However, maybe it's just me and my deal with kids, but the mentioning of three kids, just sort of.....yeah. But if it is just me, then just forget about it. Hehe. After all I am afraid pregnant women. One of the scariest things to witness is a limb from the baby stretching the skin of a stomach to the point you can easily identify it as a foot.

[/end evilness >:D ---> :o)

Last of all, I want to express my gratitude for your use of humor. I love humor, either if it's dry or even satirical, I just love humor. Your humor fitted so well, it even added an aura to your story. Be very proud, not many can accomplish such a thing.

Awesome Job, man! I enjoyed and a bit sad to see it go, but the fairy tale shall go on!

ILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEITILIKEIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a lot :D

sweet! I love it! where'd you get the pics? did you just get them offline?

-Feels highly intimidated by your post- :0

afkjbauhfiujhdkgjbd! XD You're story is sooo freakin' good! 8D

(Is also envious of Red's cloak. It looks so soft and velvety and nice. =w=)

Ahh, I love Scooter and Sharp Dressed Man (also LOVE that song) :P Continue soon!

~Ankita

Hey, I like this so far! Is she like, delusional from being sick? Please continue this soon! ;)

~Ankita