Won't Change a Thing - Comments

Comment swap brought me here! Woo!
I wanted to say that when I saw MCR on the picture I was like yes! I love MCR I really, really do. I also thought that the summary was really nice because you managed to not give away too much give enough to capture the reader.
In reading Chapter 1, I wanted to say that I think you started it off nicely with having her be already dead, I thought that it was interesting that the first sentences were pretty much like I'm dead, I'm eighteen and it sucks. It set the tone and I like when a tone is set nicely. I have to say that the sentence structure is a little choppy and needs a little more work. I think that if you presented a little more variety in your sentences it would help the overall flow of the story. Also the spacing of the things is a little bit more and make it easier for the reader. I think that overall the content itself isn't bad at all. I think it's pretty awesome. I really like the idea.

@ FeliciaSueLynn
Oh god I know D: I read my older stuff and cringe so hard 0_o
It was more of an escape process than anything else and my friends used to make fun of me for it so I couldn't ask anyone to proof read it :S

@ Distraction_Fox
If that's the case you may also want to look a bit at the dialogue and question if you could picture someone saying this to you or look at actions and question if someone would truly do this. Things were a little cheesy but easy to over look. The thing about good dialogue is whether or not it's believable someone would say what's written. :)

@ FeliciaSueLynn
Thank you ^^ I'm rewriting this (I wrote it went I was 13 -.-)
And need all the creative criticism possible so thank you :)

Comment swap~

So I'm just going to come out and say it. This needs a lot of editing. I've only read the first chapter and a half but there are too many typos, awkward sentences and grammatical errors for me to really continue. The plot itself is really interesting and has a lot of potential but I'm a bit of a grammar nazi so I get distracted by it. I think as long as you go back and edit it, maybe do some more spacing between paragraphs too, this story will be fantastic. :)

Nice, I like it.
Interesting.
Keep it up lovey
xo

hellO :))))
keep writing cant wait for more !!
xx
its so awesome and amazing

Hey, I'm here
I'm commenting
I'm alive, hello.
Telling you I loved the updates (:
Do write more soon (:
Much love xo

Please Please Please Please Please Write More. Mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxx
Frank'sGurl-Dana

Please, Please Update Right Now!!!!
OhMyGard It Is Wow!!!! And Gee And Mikey Are Sych Lli Cutiesssss Awwwwww-Your Drreams Are Effing Hectic!!!!!!!!!!
xxx
Frank'sGurl-Dana

Asdfghjkl whatwhatwhattttt. This needs to ne updated. Now. :3

Well that was interesting to say the least. XD
Haha I loved it. :3

Gahh I can't wait till she meets Mother, I wanna know what happens. x3 I love the update. :D

Keep writing!!!!!!!!

Ahh that was so good! Although the whole time I was imagining Quinn Allman with red and
black hair and speaking Italian. O.o Anyways, it was cute. Keep it up. :3

I LOOOOVEE IT!!!! <3
Almost as much as cookiess!!!
You are soo much better than me - despite what you say!
I want to live in your head! If you have dreams like this!
xoxo Kat

I loveloveloveloveloveloveLOVE this. :D Updates, prettypretty please? :D

Of course :) There's enough space in there xD

i love it! can i take up residency inside your head? lol

This is kinda awesome XD
I'm definitely subscribing ;D