I really love that you put original poetry in your piece. I find that poetry is one of the hardest parts of writing to master, hence why I don't write poems. You mentioned it in the authors note that your paragraphs were messed up i'm not going to dock you for that, though if you could maybe show a break or a time difference by putting like an * or something in between every new time change. for example 'I wrote down my address, “Be there about 3 o’ clock.” “You showed up!” ' maybe in between clock." and "you," you could put an indication that the time is changing or locations isn't the same. Aside from that, the piece was really nice and I liked it. I think that because you didn't have them hook up it was different and unique. (:
June 6th, 2010 at 06:44pm