Love Me Not - Comments

  • I would imagine this with my boyfriend and me in it. How our feeling would play out, and I think you captured what anyone’s feelings would be. This seems so natural, and I think I wanted to cry a little.

    He rears back as if I've slapped him. "You would have told me you loved me, just to keep me away from her? I'm not your fucking little prize!" – I would have been furious. I like this sentence because it shows human emotions, and how they’re so easily hurt.

    It'll never be perfect again. That much I know. – I think it’s great that this girl is coming to realize that when he cheated on her, and that he can never take it back, but she’s giving him a second chance because she does love him.

    I didn’t like the layout, or picture but they never make the story. I did like your story, and I thought it was amazing.
    January 30th, 2011 at 07:12pm
  • That was honestly beautiful. <3 And the layout isn't too bad either. Well done.
    August 28th, 2010 at 09:42pm
  • Well I'm a lameo, because the ending made me cry xD.
    Gosh, I'm such a sucker for such cute but sad things.
    I'm glad that she didn't take him back right away in the beginning, and as I was reading this, I was able to picture them standing there, talking and so on. This was wonderfully written, honestly.
    Just so cute, and ah I loved it.

    You always treated me as if I was your ... vibrator or something. -
    bahahah that was my favorite part, I got a good laugh out of that xD.

    Keep writing you're amazing at it.
    August 19th, 2010 at 11:21pm
  • That was amazing. You're such a great writer. I loved everything about it, great job. :)
    August 19th, 2010 at 11:18pm
  • This was so incredibly real to me.
    Everything about it was sooo bittersweet - but never once did I find myself thinking the word "Cliche."

    I slam the front door, or at least I try, but he's too quick. Jonah sticks his foot out, so the door doesn't close all the way, then he wedges his shoulder and body before I can repeat my attempt to shut him out. Come to think of it, that's symbolic of our (former) relationship. I didn't want to date him, and I didn't even want to think about it, but he refused to let me push him out. One grudgingly granted date turned into two, then three, then before I knew it, I let him in my life and everything else.
    I really loved that paragraph. <3

    Throughout the whole thing, I felt sympathy towards BOTH of the characters, not just one.
    I couldn't choose which side to be on, which is what made this so very real to me.
    Love isn't as easy as it looks sometimes - but I think you captured it fairly darn well here.

    I'm usually really picky about endings, but I actually really liked how this one ended.
    It was a resolution, but not everything was healed - like her heart, for example. I liked that about it.

    I think you're a great writer. (:

    <3
    August 12th, 2010 at 08:27pm
  • I like this. A lot. You painted a real picture, something I was able to see. I felt like I was there, watching. And for that, I applaud you. It takes a lot to draw me in, but this did it. Good job, dear. <3
    June 15th, 2010 at 05:42pm
  • I could actually see something like this happening.
    My friend has a boyfriend that was like devoted to her and well it kinda happened like this.
    Good job on it.
    June 15th, 2010 at 04:56pm
  • This was good. It really made me smile.
    Quote
    You always treated me as if I was your ... vibrator or something.
    This part made me laugh. Nice choice of dialogue. All of it had very well written dialogue and word choice.

    I would have liked to see more strain between the two though. I think in reality things wouldn't have went so smoothly and maybe Jonah would have even fired back at least once. But regardless, it was awesome! Very good writing!
    June 15th, 2010 at 12:53pm
  • I really liked this!

    It was really..not what I expected. It sort of makes me wish my ex would say this. D: But that would never ever happen, and I don't expect it to. But nonetheless, this story was amazing and you're a talented writer.
    June 13th, 2010 at 12:59am
  • This was wonderful because it made my heart race.
    I'm in the middle of somethin' like this myself so
    I can honestly say, I want them to suffer and yet at the same time
    I wish things could just be the way they were before..
    I was cheated on.
    You always know it'll never be the same.
    Trust was broken, how can that ever be fixed?
    It can't but that doesn't mean you should hold on to that pain.(:
    June 9th, 2010 at 05:14am
  • I really really liked this. You were great at drawing the reader into the story- I felt like I was right there, watching. You were great at pulling emotion into the story. This was breathtaking.
    June 8th, 2010 at 08:27pm
  • I really liked this. You've definitely captured the emotion perfectly, not only that, but a cheating boyfriend is something that quite a few people (myself included) can relate to. The only thing that bugged me was the whole her-taking-him-back thing, but that's pretty much because I don't have the tolerance for cheaters. That being said, I think her taking him back was the right way to end it. Anyway, I really enjoyed this, and I hope you're not ending it here? It'd be nice to see how things work out afterwards, compared to how they were before.

    :)
    June 8th, 2010 at 01:13am
  • At least I can still hurt him. At least I still have that power over him. That line was really good, in my opinion. Special, even. It just stood out. I know exactly how that girl feels, it hurts to have your heart stomped on like that. You want an escape, you want to make yourself feel better, damn it.

    "Because you never told me! You always treated me as if I was your ... vibrator or something." That made me laugh so damn hard. I don't know why...yes I do...the vibrator part.xD Really. That killed me.

    But the fact that it started out so cliche, a cheating scene and all, the girl doesn't want him in her house...and it turned out to be just so...sweet and perfect, really did it for me. I liked this a lot. Tremendously. <3 And the ending, It'll never be perfect again. That much I know.But maybe it'll be better. was really great. Fabulous job.<3
    June 8th, 2010 at 12:47am
  • Fantastic! Simply fantastic!
    At first I thought it would just be another break up story where the girl refused to let him get back into her heart and made him suffer for the pain he caused her, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised it wasn’t. Actually, I liked it so much better then I probably would have if it didn’t end that way.
    You captured their emotions so perfectly. The pain, anger, frustration, confusion, and love – I could almost feel it myself the way you wrote about it. There was actually a point in the story where I wanted to hit Jonah! And the ending was perfect as well. All in all, this is one of the best stories I’ve read on here.

    Keep up the good work!
    June 7th, 2010 at 10:21am
  • Three words - Absoultely. Loved. It.

    It was so cute, and it never bored me. Good job. :)
    June 6th, 2010 at 10:56pm
  • Love the photo you used.
    And I really like this plotline.
    You've got potential girl.
    Keep it up.
    June 6th, 2010 at 10:51pm