My Love - Comments

Don't much like the layout but I do love the chapters and the story <3

Title

Very short, very sweet. It adds depth to the story and attracts the reader.

Layout

Cute and easy to read. I love the background, it is absolutely adorable!

Summary

Kind of plain, but it makes the reader a bit curious as to what the story is going to be about. What will happen.

Story

1: The title of the chapter is kind of cheesy, but it gives the necessary information. The beginning sentence(Magic, a mysterious yet wonderful thing, I had known it since I was born, studied it all my life, practiced it every single day.) is really amazing. I already wanted to know what more was going to happen.

It is a very nice beginner chapter and it allows the reader to actually see the descriptions in the story. Eric sounds like a fine young man(I never saw his age.) and she sounds nice to, though I was disappointed not to find out her name in this chapter.

his tooth were yellow and decayed, 'tooth' should be 'teeth'.
They too wore Cheshire grin, I assume you meant 'grins'.
Release you hold this instance, 'you' needs an r at the end.
It was much simpler than my bedroom in my palace, yet I couldn’t say dislike it., 'say I disliked'.

2: This chapter is very cute. The title of it really helps the chapter out, too. The name of the girl surprised me because it is so unusual. It was even more surprising to see that Eric was a 'cursed one'. Nice touch.

A term that made me shivered in loathing., 'shivered' should be 'shiver'.

3: I was very sad when I thought Eric had died. I didn't realize how attached I had grown to him until the ending. I love how you finished the chapter, very grand.

Overall

You may want to check for spelling mistakes, I saw quite a few in there. The names are catchy and roll off my tongue easily.

The story is a very great tale, overall. I love the forbidden romance and how hard they fight to be together. The character's all seemed to fit their rolls and the dialogue was perfect. With each description, I could see exactly what was going on.

There are no words to describe how much I liked this, so I will simply state that it was beautiful. Well done and good luck! <3

you've done a wonderful job with this story! I loved everything about it and never read anything like this before :D

Story Review Game

You have created a masterpiece. This short story was magical, romantic, a little actiony, and more! You really captured the life of Yelina as the future queen, and of Eric, the peasant. The dialogue ofboth all of the characters seemed to fit both their status and personality.

You have a wonderful way with words! The descriptions were beautifully written, and the flashbacks were fantastic. With the amount of description you have put into these three chapters, you have brought the story to life.

This line… this line made me squeal. It brought back hope for Yelina, and it made me love Eric more. I would have to say that my favorite line out of the whole story would have to be this:
Walking down the corridor, she passed by a large mirror. In the reflection was a dark-haired, blue eyed male with bones as wings.

Overall, you did a wonderful job on this! It was exciting, and it made me sit on the edge of my seat in anticipation. You captured my attention with the first line, and I didn’t stop reading until I got to the end. You are one of the best writers on here, in my honest opinion.

o. m. g.
that was bloody brilliant!
so unique!
i haven't read anything like it!
oh oh oh oh i can't get over it tbh.
i was so close to crying, oh oh oh oh
it really was amazing
its like hard to describe how good. your language n grammar was so good. and you used words that were so different. the whole concept of the story was different n unique! and the ending! wow!

you should make a sequel. but not something really cliche but i doubt it would be tbh :)
well done!!!
xxxx

I liked it. I only had time to read the first chapter but I really did like it! It was enchanting.

:D I liked this story a lot!! it's very unique =D
You had lots of imagery and detail, which is awesome!!
Good job!! Can't wait to read more of it!!

By the way... you are NOT a failure!!! YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT WRITING!!! Keep it up!! =D

:D I liked this story a lot!! it's very unique =D
You had lots of imagery and detail, which is awesome!!
Good job!! Can't wait to read more of it!!

By the way... you are NOT a failure!!! YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT WRITING!!! Keep it up!! =D

Cute, I like the name Eric :D It's wonderfully done, and I have subscribed as well.