love the story, i just finished reading it and plan on reading the sequel. i hope emmett and everybody lives and that lucien, which by the way you named darius in the end, dies!!!
this story seems interesting, but I think that the picture you have of Lorraine doesn't portray her very well. I think that you can find a better picture, but it is your story. It could use more details here and there, nothing to get reported over. Overall I like it :)