Pawn of the Gods: Treasure of Gael - Comments

Avi, the stories great, i've told you a trillion times, you know this. But reading the above comments has brought up some good points. when you get the time(I know you're busy) You should revise it, and go into detail. I'm still yet to read what happened prior to Treasure of Gael. I'll repost after I have.

All in all great work, and keep at it you're a star.

Cheers~

still reading! :D i just dont comment much.....but im really enjoying this story :) i like that it has a past to it. keep up the good work ~britty~

Intuitive and interesting. I absolutely love reading stories with background and history behind them, and read your races prequel. Keep up the good work!

GREAT STORY MAN!! But I agree with some of the comments above it does need description and details of the characters, other than that keep up the good work man, lovin' it. =D

really like the story :) cant wait for another update~britty~

Yeah, I'm in the process of re-writing the chapters, moving stuff and whatnot.

I’m sorry to say I agree with the suggestions above. Of course, I’m writing in POV and not third person, but the characters could use a bit more personality. Try getting inside of their heads. Picture what they’re thinking as each scene progresses. It’ll give a much better understanding to not only author, but reader.

But I quite enjoyed it, and am looking forward to another part. (is it just me, or do I sound boring?)

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!

It's a really good idea. I'm interested in where you're going to take it. A few suggestions though: 1, too fast. You need descriptions. What was Uri's life like before he left? That's something you should clarify, because you'll probably need to refer to it later on. 2, Put more into your characters. What are they like as individuals? 3, Put feeling into the story. It almost sounds like an official account of a story.
But don't give up!!!! That's never good!!!! ^_^