Well this story is about Rosalie Hale. She and Alice and Jasper and Emett are ma favorites! I'm planning on writing stories about each of them. Plus everyone knows Edwards and Carlisle. Hey I cant forget to write about Esme.
I really like it, but it does seem to me you're pretty much rewriting what Stephenie Meyer already wrote about Rosalie in the Twilight books - I forget which one.
However, I do think it's good. I was just a little confused by the bit right at the beginning where you switched from third to first person briefly and then back again. Keep writing though! x